Down on the farm

Hello everybody. Matty C here, fresh from another hugely successful Balustrade band practice. We’ve had a pretty unusual week, folks, and I thought that I’d envelope the world in a metaphorical hug and let you in on the secrets of our day.

We’ve spent the last seven days living on a farm. Honest. No, seriously, we have. Really. We’ve had a go at milking the cows (Lex is hopeless with udders), making cheese, setting land aside for serious cash, chewing straw in the corners of our mouths, fondling potatoes and wearing dungarees. We even went along to a good ole’ fashioned barn-raising. What up!

The result of our endeavors is a beautiful pastoral song which – dagnabit – has to be the best song we wrote this evening! And that’s saying something! It’s called The Harvest Song and is full to bursting with the joys of life in the country.

Luckily, during our sojourn in the country, Lex has lost most of his dandyish tendencies which he developed after spending too much time breathing the same air as that pasty-faced chap from Iddly-widdly. However, he has now become alarmingly obsessed with the Wiltshire tradition of shoving ferrets down his pants and giggling like a St Trinian’s schoolgirl. For money. If you would like to help elevate the poor fella from his horrific fate which has left it almost impossible for him to sit down, please send me a tenner and a packet of Thai Sweet Chili Walkers Sensations.

Carts out – it’s getting late and the Bath City forum can’t read itself.