The Tinkerman speaks

Exciting news has reached us here at Balustrade HQ and that is that after many months of fevered anticipation, the Stalisfield EP is finally complete! The existence of this fabled artifact has oft been spoke of in hushed corners of dark and dingy pubs over a flaggon of Old Speckled Hen, but thanks to some frenzied action in recent weeks, our favourite fat lads have finally finished their magnus opus!! To honour this occassion we were priviledged to be granted a rare interview with the tinker man himself, the one and only man they calle Lex.

BHQ: So, Lex, it's finally finished eh? it's about bloody time isn't it?

Lex: All in good time young fella me lad, all in good time. The Tinker man does not make do with secdon bext and so after several months of feverish knob twiddling late at night in the Alpine Studios, the Stalisfield EP has finally taken shape and morphed from a pretentious and out of tune caterpillar, into a beautiful, yet slightly melancholy, indie-caterpillar.

BHQ: So what exactly does it sound like?

Lex: Apart from fantastic?

BHQ: Obviously

Lex: Well, imagine the sound of Teenage Fanclub inviting Will Oldham, Ryan Adams, Belle and Sebastian, Blind Melon and Keane around for a nice cup of tea and a sing song - possibly with a bit of coffee sponge thrown in for good measure. Unfortunately Blind Melon's Shannon Hoon couldn't make it owing to an acute case of death and Belle and Sebastian have forgotten their recorders and so Stuart and Stevie aren't talking to the girl with the incredibly large jumper muffins. Will and Ryan are trying to have an earnest discussion about the nature of the universe and Keane are just too polite to join in and so are sat in the corner playing Super Hero Top Trumps. Eventually the Fannies decide enough is enough and they break out the guitars and run though a quick medley of their hits with the the all joining in on hand claps and whistling to rapturous applause, except Stevie who is whistfully staring out of the window watching a butterfly on a pansy.

BHQ: So it's not just Lex and Cart's singing songs with silly lyrics then?

Lex: Most definitely not! You snide folk at balustrade HQ laughed when I said I would be laying down drum samples, but where would El Mariachi's Bossanova beat be without it?! You sniggered when I said I would put piano on Americana and now we have managed to wheel a baby grand into the studio and now I have nowhere to sleep as a result. And you poured scorn when i said You Sleep should have an orchestral accompaniment, and if we could have fitted those extra viola players and that kettle dsrum in we would have it would have sounded chuffin' brilliant!! I've had enough of your sniping, I'm out of here! Bums to the lot of you!

Lex then flounced off as only a fat ginger lad can! And that was our interview with the enigma they call The Tinker Man.

Don't forget, Stalisfield will be avilable from no good record shops on Monday, so make sure you keep 'em peeled! If you can't find a copy however, email balustrade@hotmail.com and we'll see if we can't sort you out with a copy - ask nicely and we'll see if we can get one of th boys to scribble on it with their monkey like signatures.

So until more exciting news comes through the Balustrade newswire, this is BHQ, over and out!!

Balustrade sleeping with their eyes open

Confident in their own abilities as musicians, Balustrade gave themselves just 4 hours on Sunday to re-record El Cartinos Blues # 4, record Walking and work out what to do with You Sleep With Your Eyes Open. Two out of Three ain't bad. YOU SLEEP can wait 'till wednesday...
At 5 o'clock, the band decamped to the cinema where they saw a film about a bloke who wears lycra and a fat-lad with mechanical arms, which they thoroughly enjoyed.

El Cartino then got on with his life whilst Sir Lexington (henceforth known as Claudio Ranieri) continued in role of Tinkerman-in-chief and spent the next two days fiddling with guitar parts, worrying about imput levels and re-recording Americana.

When he returned on Alpine Studios on Wednesday evening, Elcartino found the EP in shreds on the floor and Claudio gibbering in the corner, muttering something about "Bass Reduction... I need more Bass Reduction!" like a loon.

One cup of tea later, and all was fine. El Mariachi was finished! El Cartino's Blues # 4 was finished (with some top sleazy blues guitar work from Claudio)! Walking was finished! Americana has been completely re-done and now just needed El C's harmony vocals (sorted)! The Mourning Song was finished! You Sleep With Your Eyes Open.... erm... the lads decided to re-do that one from scratch. Which they did because they're great.

Now, all that remains to be done is the orchestral section of You Sleep, to bring it up to it's full epic majesty. Stop laughing. Claudio will probably do that over the next couple of days, but he was also muttering something about a piano line, so God knows where we'll be in a week's time.

Anyway, the upshot of all that is that;
A) The EP is so near completion it hurts.
B) Final mixdown will occur next week (software permitting)

Balustrade have aksed me to let you know that they are ready to receive orders for copies of the EP. Drop the lads a line on balustrade@hotmail.com and they'll process your order when they can be bothered.

COMING SOON... OFFICIAL BALUSTRADE T-SHIRTS... EVER WANTED TO LOOK LIKE A SEX GOD / KITTEN??? WELL NOW YOU CAN WITH OUR PATENTED BALUSTRADE T-SHIRTS WHICH COME IN A RANGE OF DESIGNS AND SIZES (tiny-lady and fat-lad only). Email balustrade@hotmail.com for for details.

NB: T-shirts will be ready when the boys have got round to designing them. Which will be sometime next year at the current rate.

BALUSTRADE HQ OUT!!

Reindeer in the Desert

Argh! Wednesday has come and gone and Balustrade didn't have a band practice!!
Alas! What has gone wrong?
Has El Cartino lost an arm in a nasty industrial accident? NO!
Has Lex contracted a nasty disease? Possibly - but NO!

Instead, the young scmaps have decided to meet up on Sunday afternoon when they will attempt to put the finishing touches to The Stalisfield EP. Honest. No really, they will. I imaging they'll tell us all about it when they can be bothered.

Until then, here's a little interview We at BalustradeHQ did with El Cartino when he was waiting at the bus-stop to go to work.

HQ> Hello El Cartino
EC> ...
HQ> Do you have time to talk about the band
EC> Yeah. Can you lend me £2.80 for the bus?
HQ> Sure. Why have you been writing so many new songs despite the fact that you're too lazy to finish your first EP?
EC> ...
HQ> What are the new songs about?
EC> Well, Summer Days is meant to be an uplifting little ballad about nothing in particular. I can't remember most of the words to be honest. And the very very latest, Thought Of Mojave (workign title) is actually a thinly-disguised snide attack on certain people in my past who have annoyed me. Don't mess with El Cartino. Grrr.
HQ> Quite. Wow, you're so hard, if I mess with you, you might write a pathetic ballad about me. Oh, I'm scared. I want my mummy.
EC> Are you taking the pi-
HQ> Ah, here's your bus. Bye now!

So, as you can see, all is well at Balustrade towers. The fellas will be back at Alpine studios over the weekend, so there might be news of the EP here shortly. Don't hold your breath

Des Amis, Balustrade PR.

Summer days

Despite the rain pouring down and winds blowing a gale outside, Balustrade began to prepare for life after Stalisfield. We still have quite a bit of work to do before it gets finished, but the ever prolific Mr carter turned up for practice this week with yet another finely crafted piece of melodic marvellousness. Entitled Summer Days, it was anything but as we began work on it and using the newly developed 'Balustrade sound' we set about arranging this new song. Not that it required much work as it slotted into the sound that only Lex and Cart's can craft as if we have been playing it for years - yup that's right it uses simple open chords and we don't know the words for this one either!!

We also began work on the revised version of El Cartino's Blues, which has evolved into a nice slowly groovy song (instead of the shouty [but still quite good] nonsense it was before!) and Walking has also begun to take shape without differing too much from the original outline - although again, it has been slowed down and turned into more of a Teenage Fanclub-esque duet. We also used the practice time this week to go through the EP and try and remember how everything sounds now and for the most part it sounds pretty good. We definitely have the 'Balustrade sound' nailed now and it has really helped our playing and song writing to have a better idea of which direction we are heading in. The only way is up now - but first we have to make sure we finish the EP!!!