Sunday, December 25, 2005

CHRISTMAS DAY POSTING!!

It’s Christmas, a time to let Jesus into your lif…. Actually, it’s a time to get belligerent, grumpy, play ******g Monopoly and eat dates. Dates are the devil’s turds, folks. Best not to put them in your mouth. Unless demon-crap is one of your favourite foods, that is…

It’s a time of reflection down here on Balustrade Acres, my personal winter retreat on the Scilly Isles, as I’ve got nobody to talk too and I’m all alone. So, what better a thing to do that let you all in on my favourite albums of 2005. Here’s a top…few… in no particular order…

Alasdair Roberts – No Earthly Man
Malcolm Middleton – Into The Woods
Fog – 10th Avenue Freakout
The Dead 60s – The Dead 60s
Fursaxa – Lepidoptera


There must be loads more, but I really con’t think of them. However, when I get a new album in 2006 I’ll be sure to let you all know. But back to these meager offerings: I promise you that you’ll love ‘em, so go buy ‘em. And if you don’t love ‘em, take ‘em back to the shop where you got ‘em, and tell ‘em I sent you and they’ll be bound to give you your money back, along with a free copy of the new Girls Aloud album/single (there must be one due. I can hardly wait. Oh rapture.)

Plus, 2005 was the year I discovered Curb Your Enthusiasm, which is great, and loads of other stuff was good too. The Jose Gonzales album I got this year was just the best thing ever ever ever ever ever evr, but it’s not technically a 2005 album… 2003 or 2004 or something like that.

Gotta go know, the turkey won’t baste itself, even though it said self-basting on the label when I got it in the deliberately non-organic, non-pc non-gm-free, non-turkey pouns shop next to BHS in Bath. Mmmmmm. Injected stuff….

Carts

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Wishing you a Balustrade Xmas (part 1)

Greetings Balustrade fans and a Merry Christmas to each and everyone of you. Lex here, hack in the Dorset homestead and seeing as Ma and Pa Lexington have fallen asleep in front of 'It's A Wonderful Life' after having one too many sherries, I thought I would let you, the fans, get an insight into the festive period for the Balustrade boys. No doubt Carter will take a break from his non-denominational, organic winter festvial celebrations at some point and add some of his thoughts (as long as he hasn't had too much mead) and we can give you some 'Strade content to brighten these cold winter nights.

It's been a pretty good year for the mighty Balustrade. We've recorded a second EP which has been met with critical acclaim. We've played live live at least once. And although we haven't finished the album as promised, we've gone a long way towards finalising the line-up and with any luck in 2006 we will finally complete the long awaited masterpiece that is Alt.WestCountry vol1 ( as well as continue to play live - we hope!!)

As is traditional at this time of the year, I thought I would maybe post a retrospect of a few of my favourite things from 2005 - after all if Channel 4 can fill it's schedule with the 'Top 100 TV reminiscences of 1984 featuring Kate Thornton and some pop star you've never heard' then surely we at Balustrade can also fill the blog with such low-rent blogging - alas we won't have comments from Miss Thornton or other luminaries such Jamie Theakston or The Blazing Sqaud, so you'll just have to make do with our own witty insights instead!

In terms of albums I would have to go with the following;

1. Malcolm Middleton - Into the Woods
(dour Scottish song-smith writes fantastically up beat songs with the most miserable lyrics going - pure genius and the best openeing lyrics toa song ever in 'Autumn')

2. Idlewild - Warnings/Promises
(Securing top slot as Lex's favourite band, the dandy Scottish rockers have moved away from their angry rock past and produced a much more melancholy, folk-tinged album with some cracking songs to boot. I saw them 4 times this year as well with their acoustic gig at St Peter's Hall in Bristol being one of my top 3 gigs ever!!)

3. Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning
(He may have a silly floppy fringe ands be far too talented for someone of his age, but Conor Oberst's alt.country masterpiece has been a huge influence on Balustrade this year and this effort is much better than his silly electronic album!)

4. Magic Numbers - Magic Numbers
(Proof that fat lads and lasses can be popstars too! (not counting Michelle McPopIdol and the fat bloke who was on Popstars) Fantastic sugary pop songs that will forever be the soundtrack to Summer 2005.)

5. John Legend - Get Lifted
(After much thought and deliberation, this manages to sneak into the top 5, mostly based on the fact that Ordinary People was such a great song. Alas it meant he knocked fellow piano-based troubadour Ben Folds out, whose 'Songs For Silverman' fetured my favourite single of the year, 'Landed')

Other honorayy mentions go to The Subways, Common, Martha Wainwright and bonkers Armenian rockers System of a Down for their 'Mesmerize' album. No doubt Carter will wax-lyrically about some obscure bearded folkies in his list, however this is secretly covering up the fact that Will Young and Girls Aloud have been dominating his CD player for months and he tries to hide it.

In terms of other media, Sin City was my film of the year as I struggled to think of anything else on a par (although Star Wars was ace and I have yet to see King King which looks superb!!). While on the small screen, Lost was disappointing, X-Factor and all that reality dancing nonsense was bobbins and even Extra's proved that Ricky Gervais was just an annoying fat bloke rather than a comedy genius (however his podcasts on Guardian Unlimted has since changed my outlook on that!). So in teh end, the hands down winner was Curb Your Enthusiasm. Without a shadow of a doubt the funniest and most painfully embarassing show ever created! Televisual gold and such a shame it is only shown on channel 4's freeview channel which no-one watches!!

And with that I think it's time I drew this epic post to a conclusion. I can hear the old folks stirring downstairs and no doubt it'll not be long before they start making fake sooty boot prints up the stairs and leaving a bag of presents outside the door (I don't have the heart to remind them that i'm 27! Besides, they ruined Santa for me 20 years ago when they revealed that the man in the shop, not Father Christmas, had given them the wrong batteries for my Transormers walkie-talkies!!)

So have a Merry Xmas all and we'll see you in the New Year!!

Friday, December 16, 2005

BREAKING NEWS - BALUSTRADE SPLIT SHOCKER

Just like Penny Lane was sold to Humble Pie for 50 dollars and a case of Heineken in the film Almost Famous, so Balustrade have also parted ways with regular member of the Balustrade extended family. Tascam US-122 or 'The MagicBox' as it was affectionately known, has been a regular fixture on the Balustrade blogs and was an integral member of early studio recordings such as Stalisfield and Balustrade Xmas. However, due to a long running feud with studio supremo Eddie 'the E' Mac, it was decided that Tascam would leave the band after a troubled period during the recording of Balustrade's 4 Seasons EP. The split emanated from the introduction of Eddie's tiger which he attempted to bring into the studio early in 2004. However due to Tascam's inability to co-operate with the beast (as well as some cost-cutting' at Balustrade HQ) it was decided Tascam should pursue other creative avenues. We wish Tascam all the best in it's future endeavours and in the meantime a search for a cheaper more co-operative alternative to it's technical wizardry will begin in the new year.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Balustrade have broken up...

... for Christmas!!

After their triumphant live performance last week, the boys have decided to call it a day for the festive period. Instead of the usual fevered practice and fine-tuning of their musical masterpieces, Carter brought over Kerplunk and Lex got out his Buckaroo! Both boys are looking forward to a nice long break over Christmas. Lex is planning on returning to the deepest darkest depths of Dorset on the hayseed express. While Carts will be remaining in sunny Bath for the annual Carter family druid dance and pipe smoking festival.

This is it now for the Balustrade boys until the new year, so we here at Balustrade HQ would like to take the oppurtunity to wish you and the boys a very Merry Xmas and we will see you all again in the New Year!!